Did you know it's too late?  I'm sorry I didn't make it before I existed.  What to do about how the world is, now?  I don't have a car and am tired on medicine.  I feel something drawing me to do something in the US first when I was excited to move to Germany.  Well, technically, I should move to Europe, ASAP.  I've never been there, yet.

Suddenly, people think I was always worthless compared to everyone else, when I think they are all unappealing.

My life degenerates.

It's like my life doesn't matter.

Stupid racist people act mean just in case all of a sudden to me racially like I've always been treated that way or should have.

People think that sometimes black people symbolically represent me.

I could have had a good relationship, but people keep ruining it, like the people monitoring me in private, Orlando making it so hard for me to focus since I'm not born here, some people I know always onto me...  I'm in trouble if bad words come to mind by accident when attacked repetitively because someone pointed out I shouldn't do it when I never thought of violence/harm, before.  I'm mad about me being in trouble and everyone else is okay in the end.

I know my mixed race is why people are mean just to me.

They act like I'm going to cross over to them.

They don't hate on Germans.

and Italian Americans

Why do Latinos keep hating on me, some of them?

It's like I'm already in trouble.

My life is so bad.

I'm in trouble even though I am nice to someone.  Who knows what the next thing to say is?

Someone can't stand me, and so people are monitoring me in private restricting what I can post online without them hurting me..

People keep saying I wanted something that wasn't right and that my instincts saved me.

It seems like no one likes anyone because they like Ellen DeGeneres better or Johnny Depp.  It doesn't mean you have to like anyone less.  There are lots of people who aren't famous who are not bad.

Meanwhile...

...there seems as though there is no legitimate hope for me because I didn't start violin early enough and maybe damaged my arms when upset because of watching Ellen DeGeneres and talking to fans of Johnny Depp.

....an older lady I like was inappropriately stimulated when exploited.  Now, I have to juggle the idea that the people monitoring me in private had it done.  People don't always feel like they matter to me then.


...people think I am bad because I accidentally spammed some people and was upset at others.  They all blocked me, though I was just having a hard time and they wouldn't talk to me.  This wasn't yesterday; this was over 10 years ago.

...It was uptight watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show every day in 2012-2016.  She didn't really accept me and exploited an older lady I like, with the excuse she found out.

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