I guess when I have no responsibilities, people take advantage of my biding time.

I'm not here to wait for anyone to catch up.

I'm mad.  I don't have anything to do.

My life gets shittier and shittier, in some ways.

I feel like I'm behind because I spend time eating and sleeping.

So, what, am I waiting for other Americans to catch up?  Is Germany ending up treating the US like a cultural toy that speaks another European language?

My life is ruined because I was defensive around someone, and everyone knows.  That's not "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

I've lost all my relationships..

Okay, okay, so I do have aspirations to play violin, and I didn't want to bring this up, but I'm depressed and no one wants to talk to me ... but my butt is here and I am enjoying myself in what I do best: nothing and soaking in my wishes.

I took gymnastics classes young to be cool in real life..

Classical Piano Music

This is the kind of music where I come from.

Classical Music (Edit)

Classical Ballet Music

On TV, a guy was dumbfounded people like me like playing music, like it's not for me.

I didn't grow up with racial problems.

I can see the audience acting racist so happy.

Sometimes, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, she seemed very upset at what made the audience cheer.

The people on AGT are acting trashy in the audience in how they cheer, sometimes, you can just tell, but it shouldn't matter to most people.

People sure take what I say the wrong way and at the wrong people.

Also, I didn't say anything bad, racially.  Duh.

Do you see cute girls who are half black and white?   I'm cute half Asian and white.

Just talk about Asians.

People are trying to group me as all the races people are prejudiced against.

Some of the judges on AGT are feeling sad because of their race.  Should we help them?  I don't think they'd like me, though.  Okay, then.

America's Got Talent live is on.

Everyone has a reaction like we all know what it is, that I'm in trouble and can't have anything because of my generation.

Wait, what's he doing with Germany?

I don't mind the older lady I like being above me, but people don't fuck off.

I haven't been refilling my vitamins and I feel like I'm getting arthritis in my hands, hungry too.

If Germany falls, it's his fault.

Are you still thinking about "detailed?"

I'm a sacrificial lamb for no need.

forum post

Supposedly, I am counted out and other people can't get in trouble.

I am online, okay?

I Just Had a Revelation

Come for something you want?  Or something you supposedly had??  Come to hear of a joke, in a certain realm, where you're disregarded again, even worse, in your life.  Don't worry, it will be relatively short and sweet, your joke.  Why?  Because people hate me.  Many people would be fun, though, and are fine.

I'll be able to give a Suzuki book 2 of 10 recital in awhile.

If you act like Ellen DeGeneres, would  you get in trouble?

Does anyone know where ... the devil lies?

Who....
When....

Hayley Westenra

She is from New Zealand and her dad is Dutch and her mom is Irish.  She sang with a good group in Ireland.  She's 1 year younger than me.

Why was I considered so good but not talked to much, but now so many people keep saying I'm not worth anything?

It is a challenge emotionally learning the violin at age 32.

Most people actually don't make it, from not practicing.

Why do Americans blame people they've never seen for their life problems?  Europe is feeling sorry for them.

Gymnastics is on TV after track.

I'm so hungry for something good.  Tomorrow starts the eating out regularly.

So, what?  I was just a worthless baby giving my mom responsibility.

and pretty much I don't matter

I don't like it.

Pretty much, anything goes.

I am not as accepted in Europe because America was a bad influence.  Also, things didn't tick just the right way.

What I've Been up To

Things I've Done Recently

•summer semester at a community college

•violin lessons from a total of 3 teachers

•church

Now, I am just saving my money to eat out, sometimes get new clothes, to get things I need, and sometimes if I want something special to make me happy.  I am teaching myself violin and German.  I plan to move to Germany ASAP (as soon as possible.)  I am so happy about my new plan!