I probably should just focus on violin so I can grow more.

Even if I was encouraged as a test, I was still encouraged and humble.  You can jump to conclusions.

Why do England and Germany keep giving attention to the bad people in America and other people are left out cold?

I didn't do anything to lose a relationship.  It's up to the relationship.

People are acting like I'm not worth it but other people are a lot.

Why do I keep getting turned into shit after I do something?  Is that something following close behind generation-wise?

I have to get uncomfortable playing violin because I'm not accepted.

People keep pushing me to admit things to be thought of.


That's why I got kicked out of singing in college.

I used to be supposed to be grateful, now I'm supposed to be still.

No one has the right to the point of being like sued to say I expected and forced them to do anything for me, and that's all some people do to me; it's because I already set that I expect nothing from anyone if I say anything.  I have a lot of things going for me, but some things too good are ruined.

I was right.

Orlando is trying to get under my skin and feel good in bad ways.

I just want to know I didn't lose anything, you know anyway.

Telling a mixed white they are not white is not like a monologue from a comedy bursting out.

Everyone here keeps responding to me like I'm not white and not good enough, whereas before I was.

Does it make you happy or jealous to see other people happy?

People used to encourage me, but they all surrounded me like I was eternally in love with someone and they surrounded me and said, "Bad, bad!"  Before, you'd be beat to suggest that of someone that was exploited who's older than me who I have a relationship with.  Goes to show you what's lies and trash in this world.

My old priest was indeed good, but many people like to be the way they are and don't think it's all about being tall and skinny.  He's also cool because I like big noses and he has a pronounced nose.  He has black hair, pale skin, and strong blue eyes.  It's also considered a certain stereotype, in some ways.  He seems to be very defensive of who he is here in Orlando, been here since the early/mid 1990s.  He is from West Virginia and maybe Southwestern Pennsylvania I think.  He must be born in the 1950s.  He keeps bouncing back between being stern and laid back / casual socially.

Why Irish Marry Germans in America

It's a bargain because the Irish immigrated here later than say the Pennsylvania Dutch, who are Swiss mostly, though I am unsure also significant German population, being the biggest ethnicity in the US.

Also, some of the Irish don't live on farms, unsure the quantity.  So, it's the money.  There is a clear prejudice against farmers.

People don't care if people curse at kids, unless it's someone to make seem better than me because of the hardship of it.

People can get elevated for being part Spanish if they have other "redeeming qualities" or "saving graces" but like other white people are the bad guy.

Do celebrities like the attention they get?  I'm sure I wouldn't be considered as good as Johnny Depp.

Since when am I "chopped liver" and other people are off-limits to talk to?  Why did adults act so open, like a trap so they can punish us like we knew we weren't supposed to?  ...because I have a priest I gave some presents to, like religious letters, a sympathy card, little office supplies added as goodies... and he's always downright nasty to me and I don't even go to church because it sucks in my life otherwise.  People are always doing whatever they want to me.  I thought Baby Boomers were always open to Generation X.

I wish I was still in college, though I didn't know I wanted violin as a primary instrument.

I don't understand the wasted years.

I wasn't in college or anything.  My parents made me afraid to come out of my room.

I still would go into modeling school and maybe move on to act in some way.  I don't want to make it big, in some ways, but in some ways I don't care if I looked good.

I feel like the US is a childhood home.  I feel like I'd need to move to another state in it, like Washington, to feel like an accomplished adult.

I used to think of things like getting a doctorate in Music Education or becoming a CEO so I'd be a happy worker in old age, too, though a lot of people boast about retiring young.

I was thinking of going back to community college to finish the AA.  There's sorta offshoot reasons for me not to ever be in college that I get tortured if I do by little noises in my room and around my environment, aliens or not, etc., the way my computer loads.  The real reason was because I am a music major and other classes are in the way, though I wasn't advanced enough nor prepared for a conservatory.  I'm also teaching myself Germany so one day I can live there.

Like, they don't seem to say anything as they go about life, unless it's about Generation Z.

Did you notice how Late Boomers were able to have everything prepared to deal with the world?

I wonder if I can keep school up with violin and money for food.

I just enrolled in General Psychology online for the 2nd half of the Fall.  Now, to see if financial aid works out at this community college and if the other community college will answer back.  That was about all that was available it seems that I have planned to take.  I was thinking of going back already in 3 courses on campus, but my financial aid didn't work anyway and it was the school's fault.  School can be stressful, especially with a lot of homework.  I did 18 hours online at another community college but didn't pass any of them though did a lot of work.